Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Sorry I am in a funk - besides all the crappy weather - it's cold and snowy and bitter out (GAWD I need spring!) I just can't seem to get interested in much of anything all the sudden...
I got the van back but still waiting for the refund from the warranty co - my computer has been on the fritz... could be the monitor, could be the video card - who knows... but it's driving me nuts cause it's not being very dependable and of course I just don't have the $$ to fix it.... Plus mom is here for the week now...
The bills are piling up and I just feel like I am drowning... Plus I have been watching Dr Phil and I really really want to get on the Booty Camp band wagon but w/my wacky schedule I I can have a good week when I am on days only to have it thrown to hell the weeks I am on nights... Plus I am dealing with some emotional issues as a result of the divorce - like will I ever date again, will I ever find a good man, will I have more children - but right now I having trouble thinking past who would want me even if I could get out there and meet people.... Plus I just feel no real connections to anyone - I have some friends that live locally but I always feel out of place or a fifth wheel and just never feel like I am connecting well with them... I long for friendship and yet I am not sure how to reach out and ask for it... Seems like there is so much I need to do or want to do and I am having a hard time working thru one thing at a time... It's all piling up and I am feeling overwhelmed...
Dilen goes for his first eval w/the psychiatrist on the 13th... Deven is having a rough time at the moment and we are trying to deal w/the anxiety.... You know somedays I am not even sure what is normal or out of place w/the boys behaviors.... I know they have been acting "off" but not much more then usual and yet if I really look it IS more then usual... Me?? I feel like a lump on the couch that is about to burst into tears at any moment...
BUT ANYWAY... I didn't mean for this to turn into a pity party.... I have a question though about blog edicate (sp?) - should you return the favor of a link??? You know - if someone adds you to their list of recommendations/favorites are you obligated to add them to yours??? Also does anyone know a site/program where I can translate to English???
Well it's off to finish up my work for the night and try to stay awake... Til next time...
I got the van back but still waiting for the refund from the warranty co - my computer has been on the fritz... could be the monitor, could be the video card - who knows... but it's driving me nuts cause it's not being very dependable and of course I just don't have the $$ to fix it.... Plus mom is here for the week now...
The bills are piling up and I just feel like I am drowning... Plus I have been watching Dr Phil and I really really want to get on the Booty Camp band wagon but w/my wacky schedule I I can have a good week when I am on days only to have it thrown to hell the weeks I am on nights... Plus I am dealing with some emotional issues as a result of the divorce - like will I ever date again, will I ever find a good man, will I have more children - but right now I having trouble thinking past who would want me even if I could get out there and meet people.... Plus I just feel no real connections to anyone - I have some friends that live locally but I always feel out of place or a fifth wheel and just never feel like I am connecting well with them... I long for friendship and yet I am not sure how to reach out and ask for it... Seems like there is so much I need to do or want to do and I am having a hard time working thru one thing at a time... It's all piling up and I am feeling overwhelmed...
Dilen goes for his first eval w/the psychiatrist on the 13th... Deven is having a rough time at the moment and we are trying to deal w/the anxiety.... You know somedays I am not even sure what is normal or out of place w/the boys behaviors.... I know they have been acting "off" but not much more then usual and yet if I really look it IS more then usual... Me?? I feel like a lump on the couch that is about to burst into tears at any moment...
BUT ANYWAY... I didn't mean for this to turn into a pity party.... I have a question though about blog edicate (sp?) - should you return the favor of a link??? You know - if someone adds you to their list of recommendations/favorites are you obligated to add them to yours??? Also does anyone know a site/program where I can translate to English???
Well it's off to finish up my work for the night and try to stay awake... Til next time...
